Work Easy 4 Life Balance

White Rock Beach

Last  Friday I was musing about a post that I read on face book about back stabbing.  It occurred to me that one of the reasons we don’t stop ourselves from back stabbing or even talking about others is that we feel like we are separate from others. Like I am me and they are them and we are not one and the same.  Yet I know this is not true, we are all connected.

I have been know to come up with spontaneous ideas in the past that I take action on, which cause me to stretch and grow.  Like setting a goal of hugging a 1001 people and then doing it. You can read about it here,  http://ow.ly/1zvvW Well Friday morning called for just such an idea.  I had just finished drafting the introduction and chapter 1 of my book, two emotionally traumatic pieces of writing for me that have pushed my emotional hot buttons.  I had been working through the emotions all week and was feeling a little alone.  A new idea came to me, what about if I said “Good Morning” to as many people as possible on my run today.

I started to run keeping my head up, rather than looking at the ground, and I focused my attention on the next person, or couple, that was approaching me and in a clear voice I said “good morning”.  Now the benefit for me of doing this is that it was like a meditation, I had a pretty quiet mind throughout the whole process.  I am not a very accomplished runner and my mind could only handle 3 things at once — putting my focus on the up coming person, keeping count and breathing.   I have found breathing to be a necessary part of running!

About a third of the way through the run I had accumulated 20 “good mornings”, so I set a goal of 60.  That would be at least 60 people that I connected with, even for just a fraction of a second. How would people respond?  Some people’s face lit up when they made eye contact with me and heard the warm “good morning”.  Some people broke their conversation for a moment, responded, and then went right back to where they were.  Others interrupted their cell phone call to respond.  And a very few kept looking at the ground and did not respond at all.

How rude you say?  No, the story that I wrote in my mind, it was for these people that I reached out to make contact.  For what ever reason they are not comfortable with contact and they keep themselves separate.  I think it is this sense of separateness that helps to keep us from feeling loved, that causes us to have negative thoughts about others and to speak about others in a negative way.  I think this is where back stabbing really comes from.  It comes from a place of insecurity and lacking love.

By reaching out with our eyes, our hearts and kind words we can touch people even if it is just for a moment.  We can have empathy.

And in the process we might meet a new friend who also likes to touch people.  There were no more people on the boardwalk at the end of my run.  I had 98 “good mornings”. My ego wanted a 100.  So I walked back and called over to Ruth who was walking on the grass, “excuse me I just wanted to say good morning.”  She asked what was I up to and I told her.  I still needed one more person to make my stretch goal.  She said, I have been watching  that person down on the log , he looks like someone who needs a “good morning”.  So I walked down to the beach and said “good morning” and wished him a good day.

Happiness and joy filled my heart as I walked to the parking lot to get into my car.

Who can you connect with and touch today?  Who can you have empathy for when they speak negatively about someone?  And maybe by not repeating the story and giving it energy, it will quietly disappear.

Jacque