Congratulations to those of you who have actually started to make the changes you’ve intended for 2010. You are part way there! You may already be feeling the pressure to slip back to old habits. If you haven’t started yet , maybe it’s because you want to be really sure you’re going to stick to your intentions. Or, knowing how hard it is to change you decided not to change anything. Making changes successfully has to do with taking charge of your emotions.
According to Chip and Dan Heath, in their Jan. 3 article in Parade magazine “Make Changes That Last” the reason it is so hard is because the two independent systems of our brain are not in agreement. “The emotional side is instinctive, the part that feels pain and pleasure and the rationale side is analytical, the part that deliberates and plans.” They draw on psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s analogy, “of the Elephant (the emotional side) and the Rider (the rationale side).
Perched atop the Elephant, the Rider holds the reins and seems to be in charge. But because he is small he’ll lose to the elephant whenever they are in conflict. You experience this whenever you act against your better judgment and hit the alarm clock snooze button, have one drink to many, or procrastinate. The Elephant likes instant gratification and most changes require making short-term sacrifices for long-term pay-off.” Chip and Dan go on to identify some very helpful and effective tactics to get the Elephant and Rider going in the same direction, such as giving yourself crystal clear directions, keeping yourself motivated with micro-milestones, and making your environment support your change.
Read the article at:
http://www.parade.com/health/2010/01/03-make-changes-that-last.html
What they don’t talk about is what to do when we habitually feel intense overwhelm, anger, frustration and anxiety. These emotions can really get in the way of making the changes we want. Feeling this way for a prolonged period or when it’s inappropriate to the situation is often caused from unresolved or unprocessed emotion. We like to refer to it as having our buttons pushed. Step by step behavioral change strategies don’t work so well with this, and it takes a really long time.
A better option is to make transformational change, whereby unwanted emotional habits and conditioning are resolved to the point where your buttons no longer get pushed. Our awareness shifts to an expanded state of consciousness from which we are attuned to both the elephant and the rider and can make new choices beyond habituated patterns and triggered reactions.
Once you know how to resolve triggered emotions and access this expanded state of awareness you’ll experience a different relationship with the emotional and rational parts of your brain. Your emotions won’t run away on you, and you won’t be ‘driven’ by the need to over-analyze, judge and control. Making lasting changes becomes much, much easier.
