Posts Tagged ‘Happiness’

Why is unplugging and taking downtime healthy and productive?

Tuesday, November 8th, 2011

I have just relocated from Canada to Belize which required that I pack up all my computer equipment including my phone. Oh, but now a days that does not mean that we need to disconnect and quit working. Natalie Sisson the Suitecase Entrepreneur provides all sorts of great advice on how to work virtually, which I will be using as I continue to operate my business on an international basis.  Technology has made it possible for us to keep connected 24/7.  But is this what we really want to do? We need to make choices as to what serves us to have a healthy and vibrant life.

To have healthy balanced lives we also need to take time off and unplug.  After six months of focused work I completed another milestone on my book Divine Divorce.  Through this period of time I worked with focus and took very little time off to play, which is what work is like for many of my clients.  Many of us are working very long days, sometimes six days a week and then having to find time for the family.  Life is hectic and we are on the go all the time with very little time for ourselves.  Doesn’t it make sense then to take some time 100% for ourselves and unplug?

During my two week break from technology; no internet, no land line, no cell phone, and no texting.  I was 100% out of communication, except for the people that were immediately in front of me.  I had many nights of ten hours plus of sleep.  My body needed the rest and relaxation to rejuvenate and be fully ready to take on the next project that I design for my business.  When we take time off we give ourselves a break from the everyday pressures of life, our brain and body begin to de-stress allowing for more creativity to occur.

I was actually astounded at how much sleep I needed to allow my body to rejuvenate. My project inspired me to get out of bed at 5am each morning and keep working to meet the deadline I had set. Even though I got the minimum 7 hours of sleep a night, I was still tired.  Sleep deprivation is a major problem, with sleep disorders affecting 40 million people in the US, 1,500 people die of motor vehicle accidents and 40,000 are injured from falling asleep. If we are tired or injured we are not as productive at work or happy in our daily lives.

Take a little downtime, unplug on your next holiday or even for a whole weekend;  be healthy, happy and safe.

 

 

Getting to Gratitude

Thursday, October 6th, 2011

In celebrating Thanksgiving we are reminded to be grateful and appreciative. Reminding ourselves is useful because it seems gratitude is an elusive state of being.  Cultivating more of it would be hugely beneficial. Imagine what it would it be like to be consistently grateful? What would be possible for you?

Being grateful and appreciative feels wonderful. It’s joyful and uplifts the spirit. It’s empowering, gives us confidence and the ability to take on new challenges.  Not only does it feel great, it gives the whole immune system a boost.  When we feel good our energy radiates, positively impacting others.  With these benefits it makes sense to access gratitude more often. What keeps us from doing so?

‘Well that’s obvious,’ you might be thinking, ‘there’s so much going on in my life, how could I possibly feel grateful all the time? I’m far too busy, feeling overwhelmed, frustrated about what’s not working, and worrying about what needs to be done.”  Or judgment and criticism may be more constant ways of being.  Energetically, these feelings are stressful, heavy and difficult.

Fundamentally, it’s a choice whether you feel gratitude or find yourself grumbling and pushing hard, but it’s easier said than done.  If making the choice was as easy as flipping a switch, most likely you would. The difficultly lies in habitual thinking and feeling patterns; the more we think and feel in certain ways the harder it is to change.  These patterns, like ruts in the road get deeper the more they are used. 

The choice we need to make is much more than an intellectual decision; it’s a deep, internal commitment.  Like the air we breathe, our habitual thoughts, feelings and behaviours are invisible to us.  That is, until we take the approach of observing ourselves and becoming aware of our thinking habits and their associated feelings.  Then we can make new conscious choices.

One of my colleagues Lynn, her habit has been to worry and be concerned about having enough money.  Growing up she always had enough. Her parents were careful, worked hard and made practical choices. Lynn learned to be frugal with money. Even though Lynn enjoyed what many couldn’t, it seemed whenever she asked for some little extra thing she heard, ‘We can’t afford it.’

Lynn’s attempts to change her relationship with money have been challenging. It’s hard to break out of old patterns.  Especially with money, it all seems so black and white, so finite.  In her experience when there’s a fixed amount coming in, outflow needs to be controlled so it can all work out.  The problem is, there are often unforeseen expenses which she seems to have no control over.

Years ago, Lynn was expressing concerns about making ends meet, and her daughter, who was about 12 at the time said, “Don’t worry Mom. There’s always enough.” She caught Lynn off guard, because she was right. They always had a place to live, and there was always something to eat.   Lynn chose to trust her ability to consistently earn the specific amount required to cover expenses each month – and she did.   

Now Lynn would like to update her beliefs.  Instead of being limited to consistent income and having fears about its decline, she’d like to be grateful for what she has and now put her focus on increasing income.  Trusting the inward flow and being grateful for it opens up to a much higher likelihood of recognizing opportunities to make more.  Worrying about not having enough reinforces limitation and shuts off the flow.

What if income wasn’t finite and came from unforeseen sources.  That would be a different experience.  As Lynn ponders this she allows all the old beliefs and feelings of worry and concern to surface and as they do and she resolves them.  Releasing internal conflict allows her to access the feelings of having enough, even having more than enough.

From this place Lynn can also choose to be grateful for all the talents and resources she has to share. This is a much more empowering place.  What if, she simply believed in her own abilities in the same way she believes in others?  What if we all believed in our own abilities and eliminated any doubt that gets in the way?

Making the shift from grumbling to gratitude has huge benefits for us.  The law of attraction states that we attract to us the energy we send out.  So if we are exuding the grumbling, closed down energy of limitation and not enough, that is what we are likely to attract more of.  If we send out positive vibrant energy others perceive it and want some of that energy for themselves.  When we exude the energy of gratitude we attract the same kind of energy back to us opening up whole new possibilities and opportunities.  

What would you sooner do? Open up exciting new possibilities or attract more difficult challenges?

A “Wholehearted” Life is Magical

Thursday, August 25th, 2011
I would like to introduce you to Brene Brown , she did a 10 year sociology study of shame and discovered a group of people who live life from a really “wholehearted place.”  We started our journey at about the same time and have come to the same conclusions. Brene studied other people and I went through the process one step at a time.
I spent the last 10 years finding happiness.  Actually it took me 7 years to find happiness and over the last 3 years I dug myself out of the emotional disaster of divorce and discovered what a Magical Life feels like. I now fully live in the “wholehearted place” that Brene talks about in her book.
My solution for getting to this place is a little different than Brene’s, in fact it is more of an add on.  It is more than being able to look at the world from a different perspective, have different thoughts and take different actions.  To get to the magical place with a sense of ease we need to drop off our emotional baggage — especially fear, disappointment, anger and not feeling good enough.  When we do this we can move into the place of vulnerability exponentially fast and start creating new possibilities, be that at work or in our relationships or maybe both!
Needing control, shuts down vulnerability, which stops us from in living into our ideal magical life.  Give Brene’s book, The Gifts of Imperfection, a read.  Get the idea of what is possible.
If you want to achieve a Miracle Life fast I can show you the shortest and quickest path, the rest is up to you. If you are ready to start this journey,  I would love to have you come and play with me in Belize, where I am living my Magical Life.  Here are links to my two of my offerings:
A Divine Adventure in Belize —  http://bit.ly/pdueuj
Divine Conversations for Couples in Belize   http://bit.ly/pTH7oG
My new motto is “Divorcing your partner is optional, divorcing your emotional baggage is not.”

The Drive for Wealth Reduces Happiness

Tuesday, July 12th, 2011

An Article in the National Examiner reports how having a simpler life style contributes to greater happiness.  The article also indicates how the drive for material wealth is contributing to stress and ultimately increased depression in our society as evidenced by the volume of prescriptions for anti-depressants.

“Kasser also writes that people become more materialistic when they feel insecure about losing their safety and security and their perceived likelihood of satisfying their psychological needs. “For example,” writes Kasser, “children’s materialism is higher when they grow up in a family with a cold, controlling mother, when their parent’s divorce, and when they experience poverty.””

This lack of a sense of security is our emotional baggage and it come from our emotional conditioning, which are the things that happen to us in childhood.   We try to make up for this lack of security by wanting more things and more success.  What is missing is our own sense of security, which actually comes from inside of us.  We don’t have full access to our own sense of security because it is lost among our  emotional baggage. Empty out the emotional baggage and we feel more secure.

The alternative is more depression and stress related illnesses which are becoming a major concern in America.  A major cause of lost work time is due to stress related illnesses.  Stress related illnesses are costing companies millions of dollars and ultimately we are ruining our health. Our emotional conditioning has a huge impact on our health as discussed in Has Emotional Conditioning Impacted your Health? We can see from the statics reported below that our lack of mental and emotional health is a growing problem which adversely impacts productivity in business, the happiness in our lives and ultimately the environment.

“Dr. Mark Olfson of Columbia University in New York and Steven Marcus of the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia wrote in the Archives of General Psychiatry 2009 reported Reuters that “About 6 percent of people were prescribed an antidepressant in 1996 — 13 million people. This rose to more than 10 percent or 27 million people by 2005, the researchers found.More than 164 million prescriptions were written in 2008 for antidepressants, totaling $9.6 billion in U.S. sales, according to IMS Health.  These drugs are deposited in America’s drinking systems, often without a way to filter them out even with current sewage treatment methods.”

Link to the Full Article

Each of us needs to decide for ourselves do we take drugs to manage our accumulated emotional baggage or do we empty the baggage out and live a happier, healthier life. The choice is yours.

 

 

Can we find Happiness?

Tuesday, June 21st, 2011

I read an article in Psychology Today http://ow.ly/1737dU that suggested that happiness can not be found.  In fact that if we try to find happiness that it will guarantee that we won`t be able to find it.

“Maybe it’s just me, but happiness in the sense of fulfillment—not momentary, hedonic pleasure—is not something that can be consciously and deliberately sought, because the very process of seeking it will ensure that you will not find it.”, according to Mark D. White, author of the article. As much as I appreciate Mark`s perspective, I think we cause our own happiness. We cause it by who we are being and by what we choose to do.

One day eight years ago, when I was driving into Vancouver, BC on a spring morning and looking at the beautiful snow capped mountains, I thought  ’oh how beautiful, I am happy.”  There was the problem, I thought about happiness, I did not feel it and happiness is a feeling.

A spectacular sight

A spectacular sight

I went on a quest to find happiness, because I had lost all sense of it.  Happiness had become a thought in my head and I recognized it was no longer a feeling in my body.  I had lost it.

I won’t take you through a blow by blow account of how I did it.:-)  I will give you the generalities.  I changed the way I was thinking and I changed the way I was responding to people.  Plus I started to drop off my old emotional baggage.  With this I achieved what I would have called happiness. I was vibrant and bubbly – maybe even a little over the top.

Then I went through divorce and happiness was out the window.  The emotional trauma of divorce pushed a lot of my hot buttons. Luckily the Universe (God) brought me a technique I call Emotional Hot Button Removal to release energy from my body as my buttons were pushed.  Using EHBR I dumped huge amounts of old baggage, baggage that I did not even know I had. This has allowed me to shift on the inside.

The result is that I am significantly calmer, more in touch with my intuition and happy most of the time. At certain times I experience unexplained deep senses of joy, gratitude and love for others and everything around me. This never happened before I started my quest.

So yes I believe that if we really want to find happiness we can;  I don’t think I am unique.

PS: I think that love is something that comes from inside of us, not from outside.  A commentary for another day!