I read some notes last night from a mastermind meeting that I went to about 2 months ago. What my friend provided me with was a redefinition of the word responsibility. The etymology of the word means being ”morally accountable for one’s actions” is attested from 1836. He redefined it as being able to “respond to possibility.”
Yesterday I had a major and profound insight in my life.
I am in the process of living into my vision of having a virtual business that I can conduct from any place into the world. My first adventure will be to live in, and work from, Belize for three months at the end of this year. I have one friend there, my dive instructor who I am in contact with on Facebook. I let him know that I was starting to look on the internet for a place to stay and he offered to find me a place.
When he came back with a solution to my problem of finding a place with internet access, I showed up with a whole host of additional questions. I felt a sense of nervousness in my body. Would this place be OK? Would I like living here? As a guy could I trust him to make this decision for me? Not withstanding all these questions, I told him to go ahead, but could I possibly see some pictures.
What I realized yesterday was I have never trusted a man to look after me and make an appropriate decision for me. I have always had to have control of my own life. On an energetic level if I don’t trust that a man will look after me, then who do you think that I attract into my life. Men, where I am the driving force, men who can trust me to look after them. Needless to say at some point either the man or I became unhappy and things fell apart.
Men are historically conditioned to be providers and as a woman I want to know that I can trust a man to provide for me, even if I earn more money. Being a provider goes beyond money, it relates to a man being on purpose, having a target that they are going for, and having a zest for life. So it is interesting that my inability to trust was sabotaging what I want most from fully showing up in my life.
When I surrendered to the idea of trusting my friend to choose an appropriate place for me, I could feel the flutters of fear in my chest. I was actually afraid to let someone look after me. Being a voracious learner in life, I have requested that my friend not send me pictures of the place he rents for me!
I said I wanted this to be an adventure and the adventure starts now. I want to be responsible; I want to be able to respond to the possibilities as they occur. Resistance and fear may show up and I am committed to resolving these in my life.
What is it that you don’t trust, be it at work or in relationships? What is it that you are afraid of? If you’re a woman, what are you doing or how are you being to create this situation? If you’re a man, how ready are you to fully support the trust of a woman?
Tags: Divorce, Life Balance, Love, Personal Development, Relationships, Separation, Women
